It is Resurrection Sunday and I'm still sick. Since this has been going on now for 9 days, I went back to the doctor this morning for the second time. I have developed an infection in my sinuses, which explains the constant headache and pain over my face, in particularly in the cheek and upper teeth area. I'm now on antibiotics and am hoping that by tomorrow, I will at least feel some improvement...
Right now, I have the window in my room opened and can hear Daniel over at Enya's house with Jonny having a great time. How I wish I was feeling better to be there too! This weekend really did not turn out how I had hoped it would. I was so looking forward to going to church both on Good Friday and today, but I was just too unwell to do so. I managed to make it to Nena's house today for a very special, delicious lunch, but spent most of the time lying on her bed... Oh, sickness, please go away!
But despite feeling this way, I was able to have great communion with Jesus these last few days. I spent a lot of time meditating on His death on the cross and then His resurrection 3 days later... Though I'm still physically sick, spiritually, I feel closer to the Lord and in greater understanding and awe of his great love for me. Thank you Lord!
"Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men. But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him" (Matthew 28: 1 - 7)
Today we celebrate Jesus' resurrection and oh, what an important event this was! The fact that Jesus was resurrected confirms that all He said was true. It confirms that He is God and that He conquered death once and for all. It gives me confidence to trust in Him, to follow Him and to know that when I die, I will be united with Him, just as He promised.
It also gives me confidence that my sins are indeed forgiven. God has accepted His sacrifice for my sins and I now have a real relationship with Him. Though I continue to sin, I am no longer in bondage, or dominated by my sin. His resurrection gives me power to become more like Jesus. I am slowly becoming more like Him, through the power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in me. This truth can be confirmed by any person who knows me well; especially Jonny who "sees it all" on a daily basis. God's spirit in me has helped me develop greater patience, gentleness, self-control, kindness, humility, gratefulness and ability to forgive. I now worry less about what others think of me but more about what God thinks (hence my growing openness in this blog!). It has allowed me to focus more on worshipping God, rather than myself.
I still have a long way to go. I am particularly aware of my tendency to make my needs and desires my primary interest, to be self-righteous and judgemental, to harbor bitterness, feel envy and just not love others as He commanded me to. But, because of His resurrection, I have confidence that I will continue to be transformed. This hope is not out of guilt; it is out of love for my Savior and a genuine desire to be holy, to be a light in this dark world, to glorify Him. It is His love that compels me.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." (John 3: 16-17)
Happy Easter loved ones! May the grace, peace and salvation of the Lord Jesus be with you!
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