Back in February...

Hi Loved Ones,

So I've been putting off writing this post...I was diagnosed with borderline anemia over two weeks ago which helped explain why I had been feeling so utterly exhausted most days... but now that I have been taking extra iron supplements, I have started to feel more energetic (though of course still very tired some days, due to being in the third trimester). And of course, juggling family life, Daniel's busy summer program, work, etc. has kept me busy. However, the truth is that I have been reluctant to write this post because of the heartbreak our family experienced this past February. But  I can't just ignore what happened in February, in fact, I want to record what happened so that I will always remember. 

My aunt Nena (Maria Helena, who made several appearances on this blog over the last few years) passed away the evening of Valentine's Day. So appropriate that she died on "the day of love" because she was truly one of the most loving people I have ever met. The way she loved me, and our family, was so special, so unconditional, so real, so pure, so giving, so selfless, that I consider it a true blessing from God to have experienced.

 

And we miss her... SO much. She has left a huge void in our lives. Now that it's been over 5 months since she passed, it feels like it's even harder than when she was first gone... I know that with time I will get used to her not being here, but it is still very recent. In 2012, we spent so much time together... she used to spend at least a week a month at our house and had her own room. She used to call me almost every day, just to check if I was OK. She was our only family here in the U.S. and just such a special person, truly one of a kind.

Nena had gastric cancer but in the end, she died of complications from a surgery to remove a recurring tumour. She went to the hospital for her surgery confident that she would be out two days later, but God had different plans... The day we arrived back from Malaysia was the day of her surgery and for almost 4 weeks, I spent many of my days at her side. It was an emotional roller coaster as she was in and out of the ICU, some days doing better and others much worse... It was hard, very hard. I was just a few weeks pregnant and experiencing terrible nausea and the hospital smell just made it all worse.

But, about a week before she passed she was doing much better and we had a wonderful conversation. I was able to share with her that I was pregnant and showed her the 8-week scan photo of our baby. When she looked at it she opened her eyes widely and said "Hi baby! Oh, you will be gorgeous!" She was so happy I was finally pregnant since she had been praying for a long time that I would have another baby. When I told her the miracle had happened in Malaysia, she said: "I told you going on vacation would be a good thing!" There she was, on her hospital bed, very sick, but still making me laugh, still loving me so much! I will never forget that last conversation. She told me she loved me and was so thankful that I was at her side...

Though Nena had never married or had children, she didn't spend any time alone in the hospital. Some of the nurses actually got annoyed that there were so many people visiting her every day. And others were amazed at how many friends she had. We heard a few times that there were patients in the hospital that didn't have anyone visit them, despite having family in town. The fact that she was constantly surrounded by people is a testimony of who she was to many and of her love for others.

The evening she passed, she was surrounded by thirteen of her closest friends. I held one of her hands and kissed her many times as she went Home to be with her beloved Saviour. How she loved Jesus! He was her everything and He used her to touch the lives of many. We sang some of her favorite hymns and prayed. It was hard, very sad, but God gave us peace and courage to let her go.

 

We now live in the comfort knowing that she is Home and no longer suffering and that our time apart is only temporary... She lived for only 63 years and she had a hard life. But she made the most of it, always tyring to see the positive in everything, making the most of each day she was given, especially to serve and love others. It was time for her to go, as much as it is hard to accept...

 

Nena, thank you for your love. Thank you for being such a good example of how to love others and of generosity. I still have a lot to learn from you, but your example will always live in me. May I love Jesus and be faithful to Him as you were until your last breath. May I continue to look for the blessings in everything despite the hardships. May I not let the trials of my life make me feel sorry for myself or give up. May I love and serve others more and think of myself less. Thank you for everything you taught me. I love you and miss you so much. I miss your laugh, your endless stories, your accent, your encouraging thoughts, your phone calls, your singing, watching TV next to you, your delicious food, your presence... I look forward to being reunited with you again when Jesus calls me Home and we experience true joy and peace together. I will always remember and love you Nena, you will always be a strong part of me.

Photos from December 2012:

The last photos we took of Nena before we traveled to Malaysia

She asked me to take photos of her next to her Christmas tree and nativity scene. She mentioned she thought it could be her last Christmas...

She always had several presents for Daniel...

She loved her baby Jesus and let Daniel hold him -- very special!

A Christmas dinner together at our home...

I love this hug...

My last photo with her...

She was so excited to give Daniel a circus tent...

And he loved it!

MB: Dragon warrior again!

So I just showed Daniel the blog post I wrote with photos of him in his warrior outfit and guess what? The dragon warrior came back! 

Back in January...

Though I haven't had much time to blog this year, there have been many highlights that I want to record and remember. So I'm going to go back in time now, and share some of those memories...

We were in Malaysia for the majority of January and though I did blog quite a bit from there, our last few days there were not recorded. Here are some special moments of those last few days...

 

Daniel loved playing with Grandpa's iPad!

Lots of cuddles with Grandpa...

Delicious Chinese dinner with family and friends!



Random encounter with our school friend Kenny and his family. 

(I also remember that I was a few weeks pregnant already and had started to feel nauseous!)

Playing Lego (that belonged to Jonny and Peter) at Granny's house

Visit to Central Market and Daniel's dragon outfit!

Daniel still loves this outfit and wears it often.

Warrior in character!

We left a few days before Chinese New Year, but got to see the decorations.

Wonderful memories from our time in Malaysia!
 

Less Than Three Months To Go!

Hi Loved Ones!

 

It's been a while since my last post but I hope to catch up in the next few weeks before our new little baby BOY arrives! I'm now almost 29 weeks pregnant, in my third trimester (and feeling it), and we found out around 20 weeks that we are indeed having another boy. I was shocked at first since I had been expecting a girl -- due to this pregnancy being so different from my last two (nausea until 16 weeks, which I didn't have much of before) --  and even asked the ultrasound technician if she was sure, to which she replied: "there is the penis and the testicles, so yes, it's definitely a boy!" Daniel was with us at the time (vozinha too) and he shouted out "yay, it's a boy!" It was a very sweet moment. Most importantly, our baby looked healthy, with everything looking just as it should. This was of course a huge relief for us, given our past experience...

 

So here we are now, with less than three months until we meet this new little guy. We can't decide on a name yet, which is also different from our first two babies, so hopefully we will figure something out by the time he is born! And we are all very excited... Daniel is SO excited about his little brother and tells me so every single day. He also loves to touch and kiss my belly and tells me if the baby is hungry or not. :) It's been wonderful that Daniel, who is now 5 years and almost 4 months old, has been able to understand and participate in this pregnancy. He's been with me to my midwife appointments, we've talked so much about babies and what his brother will do at different ages; it's been very special to share this time with him.  As much as possible, I feel like he is prepared for what is to come... though the reality of actually sharing mamae and papai with another baby is likely to be quite different!

 

To you, little baby boy who is definitely getting bigger and heavier: we are now counting down the days until your arrival and are getting more and more excited to meet you. We are waiting for you with open arms, longing to hold, kiss and cuddle you loads. Your big brother can't wait until he can teach you all sorts of things. Know how much you are loved and waited for, little one!



Baby at 8 weeks

Baby at 20 weeks
 

These next photos were taken during a special family photo shoot that we had with my extended family who were visiting at the time... more photos from the shoot to come later..

 

I was 22 weeks pregnant

MB: Daniel back in his crib!!

So today we put together Daniel's old crib for his cousin, Zolinha, who will be visiting us soon. To our surprise, he was so excited to see it again that he wanted to sleep in it tonight! He was so excited about going to bed and calls it his "bunker." He also said teddy was really happy to be back in the crib. He fell asleep quickly... He's such a sweet boy!

Happy Easter and Special News!

Happy Easter loved ones! Today we had fun celebrating the resurrection of Jesus and all that it means. We started the day by thanking God for the new life growing inside of me, a little brother/sister for our sweet Daniel. I'm now 15 weeks pregnant and definitely showing! We are so blessed to have this new baby join our family!

 

It's been a very rough pregnancy so far physically... a lot of nausea and more recently, sciatic nerve pain that kept me in bed for a week (I'm now seeing a chiropractor and physical therapist)! But I'm hopeful that now that I'm in my second trimester, it will get easier -- the nausea has started to subside. I didn't experience much nausea in my previous two pregnancies... does this mean we're having a girl? :) Watch this space, we should find out in about a month, how exciting!

 

Daniel is so excited about his baby brother/sister. He has been so understanding that I've needed to rest more than normal and is just such a sweet boy. He is going to be a wonderful big brother -- by the time the baby arrives, he will be 5 and 1/2 and in Kindergarten! The expected due date is September 19th.

  

I loved taking these photos today, Daniel had the sweetest smile!

Out of the blue Daniel said: "It feels like a boy!"

 

 

May the risen Lord draw closer to you each day and may the truth of the resurrection bring you hope, comfort and strength today and forever.




MB: Ugh... Snow in the Spring!

Well at least Daniel was excited about it! But we're hoping this long winter ends soon!